The word “brave” has popped up in conversations with friends lately. It’s a funny word for me. In my mind someone who is brave is confident, fearless and willing to either loose it all, make a fool of themselves or risk their life. Sometimes brave people are also willing to put others before themselves, which is probably the ultimate form of bravery in my head.
So, when people say “you are so brave to be running/owning/working in/working on your own business” I kind of raise my eyebrows in confusion, squish up my face and politely squeak out a questioning “thank you?”
You see, I’m not too sure if its bravery or stupidity to be living in the hope that one day I will be able to help a whole bunch of people feel better about themselves and hopefully somehow make money doing it. Most days I just feel like running away to a small tropical island where no one can find me and I can live off the land, but then I get a text from a client or an email from someone I don’t know letting me know that what I’m doing or writing has a purpose and has in some way shape or form resonated with them.
Often I wonder if in my case it is just a fluke. I’m a 29 year old freelance performer and full time personal trainer, Pilates teacher and business owner. I didn’t go to University. I have no formal business knowledge. I’ve never earned a salary. I had no capital to start my current business. Heck, I failed miserably the first time I tried to start a business. Like, for real? Maybe it is brave, but sometimes I feel just simply out of my mind.
That all being said, the enormity of being able to influence/affect/inspire/motivate another human being is quite indescribable. That is what seems to constantly drive me forward. That desire to somehow positively affect your life.
As always, there is a point to this insert of “The Leilah Diaries”. I’ll get there.
I realise this is starting to sound like I’m seeking an “Oh, but Leilah, you are so wonderful!” or a “Why do you think so poorly of yourself? You’re so great!” type of acknowledgement but I really couldn’t be bothered about that nonsense. Not everyone is going to understand me or what I’m aiming to do with my life and business and that’s totally chilled. You could be thinking that this is all a bunch of useless rambling and you are entitled to feel that way. Moving along…
One of the largest lessons on this journey so far (and it’s been a short one) is that it really doesn’t matter who you are, what you know, where you come from or who you know. If you choose to discover and follow your purpose, there really is no limit to what you can do. Seriously. For reals. Like, no jokes. You, reading this right now, you are capable of anything.
There are 100’s of rags to riches success stories out there and I always used to think “agh yah, but they just got lucky man!” No, no they didn’t just get lucky. They worked their f*cking arses off to fulfil a purpose. It doesn’t matter what drove that purpose. They never lost sight of it. For some it wasn’t even about becoming rich in money. These are sometimes the best stories. The one’s that aimed to uplift.
So, I guess sometimes you need to be a little stupid to be brave and a little brave to be stupid. Mistakes are part and parcel of growth and learning. Being uncertain and insecure is part and parcel of making it work, figuring it out and forging on. Yes, sacrifice is also all part of the gig. Sometimes big, sometimes small. Maybe one day I’ll write a book about this whole experience. Maybe. One day.
So my lovely human. Another bout of word vomit for you. Use it. Don’t use it.
With the above being said, I am the stupid brave girl who is driven towards positively impacting your life and helping you feel better about yourself. Why? Well, because I care about kindness and love and all things rose tinted and those things start within ourselves.