On the 25th August 2015, I was sitting in a beauty salon in Wembley Square, Cape Town when I posted this status on Facebook…
As I clicked “post” a thought flickered through my brain that sounded something like this;
“That’s a pretty shallow sounding status.”
But I went on with my day and as one does, forgot all about the fleeting social media word vomit.
It is no excuse that I am currently under a lot of emotional stress in my personal life. As far as I’m concerned my personal life should not affect my work, and well, Facebook happens to be part of my work. My shallow, insensitive status was a result of thoughtless impulsiveness and perhaps a tinge of recent emotional fog.
A few hours later I stumbled across this post from a friend and ex-client of mine and my heart dropped into my stomach (click on the picture to read what she wrote):
Just the sight of her name attached to my words made me tearful, embarrassed and filled me with regret. I know what this woman stands for. Amongst many other things, she stands for non-judgement, equality and making informed, fair and compassionate decisions paired with the same actions.
I knew immediately that I had made a huge mistake.
The simple fact of the matter is that she is 100% spot on. Not only did I shame the bodies of the women who walked past me, I fed the very fire I am trying to extinguish. I acted in such a way that I did not stand up for these women or hold them up to the greatness that they in fact are, just for being women… probably mothers or even grandmothers amongst many other amazing things! I body shamed them just like the insensitive people who body shame me for being too curvy when I walk past.
So, why am I sharing all of this with you?
I believe that self-development is imperative for a happy and full life. If we do not develop as people, we stand still in our limited beliefs, pre-programmed values and the societal pressure to “fit in” that we face on a daily basis.
If we don’t look at ourselves from a different angle and question our actions, beliefs, values and morals, how will we ever grow into better humans and create a life that we want, deserve and one that contributes to the greater good?
Amilcar, handed me a piece of humble pie by responding to my unconscious, thoughtless and body shaming status.
This is not a damage control blog post. It is a sincere apology to those women who walked past me and the women I have hurt or offended with my words.
It is also a lesson in my self-development to question my own thoughts and actions. A reminder of the thoughts and actions I need in order to become the person I want to be. A reminder of the message I am wanting to spread. A reminder of what I need to stand for in order to spread the love of oneself that I so strongly advocate.
You’ll find the hashtag #ifyoudontgrowyoudie used in the comments thread of Amilcar’s post. Thank you for reminding me that if we don’t grow, we will die.