At the risk of this sounding like a diary entry, I’d like to share with you my revelation (these happen from time to time) at how wonderfully the world works… if you let it.
If you’ve read the About page on this website, you’ll know I am (what I thought up until recently) an ex professional Contemporary dancer. I think I’ve been trying to convince myself over the past two years that my time on stage is over and my dance career is no longer the childhood dream I fought and worked so hard for. These thoughts might have even been in my head while I was performing locally and internationally (hellooo!) last year, for the first time since my “meltdown” in 2011. That’s a little screwed up in hindsight, isn’t it?
I posted this as my Facebook status on the 28th April 2014;
“When random pockets of people keep asking “are you still dancing?” at least once a week, for a whole month and then a dance audition magically pops up on your FB feed… you go. #asign #dance #audition Darkroom Contemporary”
I received three comments on this post; one exclaiming how the author would love to see me perform again, one from my cousin in Europe saying I have plenty of talent to burn and the third author reminding me that thoughts become things and the universe was conspiring.
Was the universe conspiring? Had I subconsciously (and maybe consciously) been thinking about dancing and performing again? I did remind myself of having said “If I can do one production a year, I’ll be super stoked” at some point. Were all these thoughts purely because random people had been planting a seed over the space of a month in my head and I had taken time to acknowledge it was happening?
I went to the audition. When I arrived I quickly noticed I was possibly the oldest dancer in the room. Immediately I thought to myself, “this is either going to go really well or I’m going to embarrass myself terribly!” Trying to slip myself into a more positive headspace, I did my warm up, quietly on my own. I said hello to the dancers I knew and acknowledged those I didn’t. I also felt good about having greeted the Artistic Director and Project Manager on my way in.
I suppose I had gone in with an open mind. All I knew was that I was in the space, ready to move. I also knew that Darkroom Contemporary was a company I had wished to work with at some time in my dance career, but feared I would never get the chance due to my sudden dismissal (if you may) of my involvement in dance. So, I guess that seed was planted years before!
I walked out of that audition feeling more alive than I had in months!!!
Dancing is like breathing for me. Ok, maybe not so much like breathing, but it comes easily. It makes sense, every little bit of dance makes sense to my body and my brain. There are life lessons intertwined in each attempt at a choreographic sequence. To triumph over what at first is a neuromuscular challenge is something magnificent and maybe the cause of the thrill or feeling of being alive most dancers feel when they are moving. Many of us haven’t slaved away with our noses in books, except maybe anatomy books (this statement is my own generalisation). We have spent those hours training our bodies and brains to achieve such precise, coordinated movement and create millions of neuromuscular pathways that our study becomes moving art.
I’ve gone a little off topic, but I needed to share that with you.
So, why does the world work in wonderful ways? Because I received a phone call recently, offering me a place in the cast in Darkroom Contemporary’s new production, BLUEPRINT!
That’s right; I’m going back on stage and feeling over the moon about it! In fact, I’m so excited that I did a ridiculous Happy Dance in front of The Boyfriend and he now officially thinks I’m off my rocker and Darkroom is nuts to employ me… because of the Happy Dance.
Whether you believe in signs or not, I am a huge believer of opening our eyes to possibilities, thoughts becoming things and the existence of energy and energies. If I hadn’t acknowledged people’s enquiries as to whether I was till dancing, would I have noticed the audition notice on my timeline and had the confidence to go? Would I have continued to suppress my creativity (dance) and convince myself that the end had come? Would my wish to work with Darkroom Contemporary continue to be unfulfilled?
All I’m saying is I’m SO thrilled that I had the open-mindedness to see what the universe was sending my way. Maybe when I said I’d like to be involved in one production a year out loud, nearly a year ago, the universe heard me? The fact is that this is happening! I’m returning to the studio and stage, my sanctuaries, where my body and brain can breathe, where I can let my creativity flow and where I can rekindle my deep love of dance.
Please be sure to book tickets for what is bound to be a top-notch production!
BLUEPRINT, by Darkroom Contemporary
Cape Town City Hall
28th July – 2nd August 2014
P.S. Client sessions with Leilah Kirsten – a moment to move continue as per communication with myself. If you are an existing client, watch out, you might be learning bits of the production in your sessions! 😉